Ten's Lament

In the final moments of your life, everything flashes before you. All that you have done, all that you could have done...I could have done so much more, I could BE so much more than I already am, and yet I have done all I can do. I have done more than anyone could possibly imagine. I have face werewolves, clockwork men, an army of ghosts, the enemy of my people, and even Satan himself. I have escaped certain death, and saved countless lives, even planets, never being thanked, and never wanting to be thanked. I did it because I had too, and no one else would. I have been changed because of the people in my life, and perhaps even changed them. I have loved them, and lost all of them. Some have left by choice, and others were forced. I know, I will see them again before my time is up...to make sure they are happy.

There is only so much someone can do in their lifetime, and I know that I have done more than anyone ever has. I have loved someone from 14th century France, and someone who is across the Void, hopefully she is happy. And now...that man before me, the one is trapped, telling me to simply leave him, I even love. No, not in the same way as the others, but it is a love none the less.

Ah, what a fool he is! Yes, because he got himself trapped into a situation that will inevitably kill me, but also because he thinks I actually will leave him! A fool, to think that after all this time, risking my life to save planets, that I would not do the same for him. No. To die for him would be my honor.

And yet...I realize now...that it is not him that will kill me. Yes, he did knock four times, but I could easily have left. I could have just walked away and left him to die in my stead. But that is not who I am.

To be killed by someone is to be forced into death unwillingly. That is not what I am doing. This man will not cause my death, nor would he ever. After all, in the final moments of your life you have strange realizations. I am not being killed by someone else. I am being killed...by me.